From: www.AyoGorkhali.com

May 15th, 2026
The "Unanimous" Chaos and the Accountability Dance


Good Morning Nepal!


1. The Ghost Prime Minister and the Unanimous Pass
It is truly a modern miracle that a government program can be unanimously passed while the entire opposition is literally walking out the door. We hope the Speaker’s voice was loud enough to reach the empty seats, just in case the furniture wanted to register a vote of dissent. Apparently, Prime Minister Balendra Shah believes in the silent presence theory, proving that showing up to your own party is totally optional if you’re the host. Who needs a full house for a policy debate when you can just have a peaceful monologue with the walls?

2. Sudhan Gurung: From Ministry Seat to Investigation Chair
The government has formed a committee to study the public concerns surrounding former Minister Sudhan Gurung, because nothing says efficiency like a post-exit review. We hope the committee finds something substantial, though in our politics, investigation is usually just a fancy synonym for a long-term vacation from the headlines. It’s heartwarming to see a high court judge and auditors coming together to solve a mystery that everyone already seems to have an opinion on. At this rate, we’ll eventually have a committee to investigate why we need so many committees.

3. Monsoon is Coming: A Plan for Two Lakh Guests
The government has officially approved a response plan for the monsoon, because the rain definitely waits for a signed cabinet document before it starts falling. We hope the 226,661 predicted victims find comfort in knowing their potential displacement has been neatly categorized in a National Action Plan. It’s a classic Nepali tradition: we spend the winter planning for the flood, and the summer wondering where the budget for the boats went. If the monsoon is as organized as the paperwork, we might actually stay dry this year—but don't sell your umbrella just yet.

4. Hide and Seek: The Commission Wants Your Secret Stash
The Property Investigation Commission is calling for tips on illegal wealth hidden abroad, essentially asking citizens to be the world's most dangerous secret admirers. We hope those with offshore accounts are currently trembling, or at least struggling to remember their Swiss bank passwords. The 2062/63 cutoff date is a nice touch, ensuring that a whole generation of hardworking officials can finally share their success stories with the taxman. Asking high-level officials to fill out property details within a month is like asking a toddler to hand over their candy—ambitious, but likely to end in a tantrum.

5. E-Bidding Blues: The 4 Lakh Bail and the Jail Cell
Former Minister Vikram Pandey secured his freedom for the price of a second-hand car, while the computer operator gets a free room at the government’s expense. We hope the server hackers realize that in the hierarchy of justice, it’s much safer to be the big fish than the person actually pressing the buttons. It turns out E-Bidding was just E-Stealing with extra steps and fewer passwords. The judicial system's message is clear: if you’re going to be involved in a scandal, make sure you have a title that starts with Former Minister.

6. Kirtipur Shootout: A Violent End to a Runaway Tale
The police finally caught a murder suspect in Kirtipur by using the most persuasive tool in their kit: a well-aimed bullet to the leg. We hope the suspect enjoys his new medical recovery period behind bars, where the only thing he can stab is a tray of prison food. Nothing brightens a neighborhood's morning like a tactical shootout near Chobhar to remind everyone that the police are actually working today. It’s a dramatic finale for Sujan Shahi, who learned the hard way that you can’t outrun a radio—or a trained marksman.

7. Oriental Debtors: The Ultimate Name and Shame List
The Cooperative Management Committee has published a Three-Generation list of debtors, proving that your grandfather’s name can indeed haunt your bank account. We hope the 284 people on the list enjoy their newfound fame, which is slightly less prestigious than a TikTok trend but much more expensive. It’s a bold move to publicize family trees; now everyone knows exactly who to avoid at the next wedding ceremony. If you haven't paid your debts yet, don't worry—the government has made sure your entire lineage is now part of the public record.

8. Barsaman Pun: Reminding the PM that Parliament is Real
Barsaman Pun spent his time explaining to the Prime Minister that Parliamentary Leader isn't just a title you put on a business card. We hope the PM was listening via livestream, since he clearly had more important things to do than attend the policy debate. It’s a rare day when a Maoist leader has to give a lecture on the dignity of democracy to the new wave of politicians. Perhaps the government thinks the House is like a podcast—you can just catch the highlights later at 2x speed.

9. The 3 Crore Accountant: A Very Expensive Ledger
A sub-accountant in Birendranagar is headed to jail for misplacing three crore rupees, which is a very impressive amount of math for one person to get wrong. We hope he finds a way to balance the prison books as effectively as he drained the city’s development funds. The Special Court’s order proves that while big politicians might get bail, the guys handling the receipts usually get the handcuffs. Thirty million rupees is a high price for a one-month investigation, but at least the jail cell is unanimously reserved.


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Sita Rana

Chief Sunrise Satirist

Sita distills the daily chaos into nine bite-sized jokes so you can digest the news before your tea gets cold or the Kathmandu smog makes it impossible to see the paper.