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Jail Breaks & iPads!

One of our bainis managed to run away from our Central Jail for less than a day, and she is now back in prison to serve her life sentence. The media made a big issue out of it and questioned the security of our prisons. Well, it's about time we had the prisons under total control of our security personnel or a separate Prison Guards department instead of the inmates running the show themselves, if we do want better security and even better life for our inmates.

In Nepal, we have a different system where the inmates run the prison themselves, while the police, APF wallahs are stationed outside the main prison perimeters. There is the main guy or a woman who is like the Mayor of the prison, and then his or her underlings who control the whole system inside.

According to our sources, the inmates responsible for security and other administrative work control the prison. There are canteens, chiya pasals and even a meat shop and kirana pasals inside. Those who run these businesses pay lakhs of Rupees to get the contracts and then pay monthly rent to those who run the show inside. The so-called chowkidaars and naikeys and bhai naikeys make all the money while inmates either receive a token monthly expense amount from the government, enough to buy a brush and toothpaste, or they need to ask their wives, mistresses, or family members to provide some extra pocket money to make their prison life a little bit comfortable.

The main chowkidaar makes most of the money from the businesses inside, in deposit amounts and monthly rentals, and shares the profits with the jailers, those hakims who run the prison department on behalf of the Home Ministry. Hope our Balen government will bring an end to hundreds of years of the same 'chowkidaari' system in our prisons.

Our prisons are overcrowded, and the past governments have never focused on reforming our prison system. If you are Deepak Manangey or a former IGP or a neta then you could get a single bed inside or else thirty people will be sleeping in a room fit for not even ten people!

At the end of the day, even the inmates should be allowed to live with dignity and learn something new to help them after they serve their sentence. So far, nobody has paid attention to the chaos and the pathetic living conditions in our prisons.

Most of our old school netas spent many years in jail, and even Rabi Lamichhane had to suffer a lot in our prisons, but so far, none of them has talked about their experiences and how they can make the prisons better, more humane and offer hope for our inmates.

We need to make our inmates productive. We need to establish small cottage industries. For now, many prisons have some sort of inmate-run workshops like making beads or moodas or mini carpets, but it's like not even 1% of the inmates are enrolled in such paid work. The rest suffer from mental disorders, loneliness and some face extortions as well.

We can make Harka Sampang, the always angry egghead, our Prison Department Head if possible, or just have him and his crew look after the hard-core inmates and make them do some hard labor and contribute their sweat for some development in this country. We could open printing presses because we sell millions of Nepali Calenders offline still, and maybe a pickle factory and even make cake boxes or packaging materials or anything legal that can generate revenue for the government and also provide decent paychecks for most of our inmates.

According to our government data, we have 75 prisons across the country, housing 25,000+ men and roughly 1,500 women. It's about time we give them bunk beds and better meals while making them productive as well instead of letting mafia raj reign supreme in our prisons!

And before actually going to prison, many of our inmates will be in police custody in local police stations, awaiting trials and what not. The custody cells are worse than the prison. A single cell houses 10 to 12 folks, in a space which is barely adequate for six people, with a stinky hole as a bathroom and even extra khaja costs money from their own pockets. Where are our Human Rights wallahs? Well, they have never had to spend a day in police custody, and maybe that's why they really don't care much about the custody cells in our land!

And our chor byaparis Deepak Bhatta and Sulav Agarwal, both under investigation for Rs 20 billion insider trading, were reported to have access to iPads and internet access while in police custody. And on top of that, instead of spending their nights in the stinky custody cells, they were housed in senior police officers' offices and rooms at the District Police Office, Lalitpur.

I guess some of our cops still don't realize that there is a new wave in the country. A new government and a new kind of politicians who want to change the system of loot and corruption. These cops need to be punished because these are the folks who will bend backwards for a few wads of cash from our byaparis.

The SSP heading the Lalitpur District Police Office needs to face the music. And our bhai Sulav, the same guy who was selling thermal guns during Covid for Rs 15,000, which costs barely 3,000 in China, is now admitted in a hospital after the media reported that he was chilling in an air-conditioned room instead of getting to meet fellow pickpockets, robbers and the daily drunkards in a 6x4 cell housing a dozen folks.

Let's hope our new government will do something to reform the prison system. Make our inmates productive and even generate enough revenue to sustain our prisons. Rabi Lamichhane can share his two cents or paisa on his experiences and maybe head the Prison Reform Taskforce as well! We cannot have our chors with oney spend their nights in private hospital cabins while the rest of the folks get free sinus treatment at local cells in our local police stations! Hope our Balen government makes it equal and fair for all of us, even if we do need to spend some time in custody cells or in our prisons!

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