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 Why i lose my cofidence !!!
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Posted on 02-15-09 4:18 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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When i ve to face new people or to give presentation or to talk in the group; some kind of fear or anxiety comes in my heart and mind as well, i get nervous and lose the total confidence after that i m finished; my face is red, my eyes are red and i donno what to speak; everything from my mind  vanish away...i feel like a looser...so harassed...and the whole day same thing strikes my mind...


 Does anybody have the same problem like this...i think i m the only one...


 guys help me out to overcome this big problem / situtation....


all the suggestions will be highly appriciated...


 
Posted on 02-15-09 4:34 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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actaully that happens to 99% of all ppl...u are not alone

try practicing talking in front of a mirror

 
Posted on 02-15-09 4:38 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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this is called social anxiety. you are nervous when you face new people or any people. This is different then panic anxiety disorder. In social anxiety you are more shy then regual people, you feel like people are watching at you, you are shy to eat at public places. One of the most effective therapy for social anxiety is a group therapy where you are encouraged to speak up in the group. They encourage you to do more social work and have more interaction with different people. It is assumed that social anxiety disappears slowly,  without any therapy, in your late 40s. If you think you are hurtin yourself  by not able to do anything then get a medical help for this. Most of the state run hospital look at any mental disorder for free or a minimal charges. It is not consider as a big mental disorder becasuse most of the people face this problem in their teens, especially in the asian countries. But some people develop it in their later lives. So if you think you are having a hard time then go and seek for medical help. like i said it is usually free in the state run hospital.
 
Posted on 02-15-09 4:57 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Ooommm,
You are not the one with this problem. I have found that this happens with people who are very sincere about their work, study, relation etc. It is totally natural...but if it is too much, it might hurt your everyday life..

Please visit the following link...it is helpful...
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anxiety_types_symptoms_treatment.htm

 
Posted on 02-15-09 5:30 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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What I suggest is before start presentation take long breath, Fell relax,  make eye contact to everyone dont look one person only and start the thing which u know ..Hope this will help you ..
 
Posted on 02-16-09 4:40 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hi ooommm,


From how long you been expierencing such situation? Is it also hurting your daily life, if so i think you need to go to pshycotherapist, may be they can help you. But i m sure you r not the only one who is having this problem there r so many...


I have also a  bit social anxiety.Its also difficult to me to talk in a group or talk to the girls...


My suggestion is to take everty negative thinking out from ur mind...don't think you r looser.. f..k the rest u r super hero and the smartest man in the world but u must keep in mind that don't underestimate others just respect everybody's idea and opinion...gud luck...


 
Posted on 02-16-09 5:09 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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happens to everybody.....so practice, practice, and practice....the more u practice the more confident u will be....if u r nervous looking at the audience then imagine that they are ol naked.....m sure it'l help u reduce nervous......

 
Posted on 02-17-09 4:26 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thanx stillsnake, dhurmuse, abinn n everybody for ur valuable suggestions. But guys nowadays it is little bit difficult for me to control it because it is also hurting my daily activities in some extent; when i ve to talk with my boss or with my collegeues i can't do eye contact; i feel so inferior; i look tired... i ingnore to meet freinds and others...just strange things r happening with me...so guys help me out ... if somebody has aldy been through such a stage pls guide me to overcome this situation...


thanx


 
Posted on 02-17-09 5:05 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hey omm,


 don't feel inferior, if u feel that u are inferior then the whole world will treat u in that way. Try to respect yourself and your presence. Being nervous during presentation is a common thing experienced by a lot of human. But learn from each task, never keep thinking deep about how nervous u were or are. Say to yourself that u will do better , coz noone's perfect.


 U gotta forget ur insecurity and overcome it. THere's a proverb >success is not in never falling bt raising every time u fall. So,  respect ur talents and ur presence, have faith in god and love who u are!


 
Posted on 02-17-09 8:45 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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well, same things happened to me before. As a remedy, i used to practice infront of my frens. Like i gave the sample  presentation on the topic which i am going to present and they used to ask me the cross question. from that, i know where is mine weakness  and also some of the cross question asked by my friends used to repeat in the real presentation.


 


 
Posted on 02-17-09 10:40 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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The issue you are facing is called Low-self  Esteem.


Do like this:


1) Never think 'What other will say about me'? Give a damn shit about what other think about you in presentation.


2) Always be prepared  before presentation.  Take a Lead role in Group Presentation.


3)Be bold like a MAN.


4) Watch Some Actions movies.


I still when I gave first presentation in college, I was shivering like Fking Mouse. Overcoming the fear with practice, now I have to speak  infront of director in my work. It is piece of cake nowdays.


 
Posted on 02-18-09 1:02 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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If you think yourself as a loser, do u expect me not to call u a looser? no way, it cannot be.

Try one thing. Try making mistakes. I mean knowingly. Making mistakes knowingly will not make you feel like a loser. Start in your friends circle. Like, when you are with your friends, jokingly say साथि हो, मैले पादेँ है । even though you didnt do. that might embarrass you, make you go red, but you will not feel the same if you say it next time. Start with such safe mistakes/jokes/situations where you will go red but not harm yourself. Invite such situations, invite to learn, to get over it. That way you will learn how to tackle such nervousness.

 
Posted on 02-18-09 2:09 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hi Ooommm,

Well, if you are in US, this might be due to downfall of US economy. Its hard to avoid but I suggest you not to watch or listen to lay off news which started to take place in everyday basis.  However, I  personally think its good to know what's happening around you to adjust with the situation. Just like our saying "Khukuri ko chot achano lai matra thaha hunchha" , we as a sajha users can only advice you depending upon our own perception. We don't know exactly what's in your heart.
Please, do try to share your feelings with your very near and dear ones; they can be your friend, mother, wife or girlfriend. Don't put it to yourself. Hamro nepali ma geet chha ni " man ko kura lai bandhi narakha, gatho pari jala, chattai sunai deu".  Let me get to the point. All I'm trying to say is that try to share it with others. This might help you.
Also, please, do try to workout regularly, try to do regular cholestrol and blood pressure checkup, try to eat healthy foods, drink lots of water, eat fruits and vegetables, quit smoking and if you drink drink in moderation. This should help you a lot. I'm not sure may be this is in our blood.  "Gaadhaa lai bhari napuge jastai", If we don't sweat,  this will bring nothing other than disease, bad cholestrol and high blood pressure to us. 
Please, try to stay calm or at least try to look calm. Its the usual practice in fast pace job. Everybody panics; only density differs.
I agree with aaisa, nobody is perfect; one can only try to be perfect. When you panic, you might want to think about geeta saar " We were born naked, crying and empty handed. What is there to fear? What is there to loose?What are you crying for?" It seems easy. But , I know you might be worried about your mortgage, your wife's or girlfriend's bad spending habits, your child future and  your responsibilities towards your old parents back home. If we could get our mind out of this materialistic world, there would be no difference between the saints and humans
All the successful scientists, actors, writers, politicians, monarchs we know today went through your situation.It took years of practice and hard work for them to be the reason for us to know them. Let me take an example of Abraham Lincoln. Since I felt this posting will be pretty long. You can visit  http://www.snopes.com/glurge/lincoln.asp. Also, great scientist Thomas Alva Edison quoted "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Ooommm ji, you are not the only one; most of us feel the same way. Please, be positive since nothing lasts for ever. I don't think you have to let people know that you are a looser or winner or whinner because Cubic Zarconi might fake diamond for a while but at last everybody will start appreciating diamond which is the result of lots of hard works and lives around the world; especially Sierra Lione.


 
Posted on 02-18-09 2:11 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hey oom,

This happens a lot with people. Its just some can control it better than the others. Doesn't mean you can't do it as well. It takes some practice, like the good folks here have been telling you.

The reason I felt nervous whenever I had a presentation or speech was because I was foreign. Will these people understand me?? I consider myself to be pretty adept in the English language but when it comes to the vices of speaking it, it has my balls in a grip.

And smoothcriminal has some pretty good points about it. IF you think they're gonna look down on you, they will, if you think they're gonna just gawk at you without understanding anything, IF you think they're gonna laugh at your jokes, THEY WILL :) its all about what you're thinking about yourself at that point. So like smoothcriminal said, dont give a fk about wt anyone is thinking about you.

We were raised in the confines of our samaj and we have the subconcious fear "samaj le k bhancha". Well time to let go of that thought because its never going to work out if you feel that way.

Most kuires are rarely judgemental. The reason that some of us have a hard time mixing with them is because they donot know how to approach us and respect our boundaries and maintain their distance. Its not that they reproach you or anything. The judgemental ones are the barbie dolls, the materialistic bags of clays, watch out for those and you should make some great friends who will have a huge impact on you and your stay in this country.

Peace.
 
Posted on 02-18-09 2:40 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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dear ooommm brother, like said you have social anxiety for sure. I do have this too. Some have little, while some have too much. If you think you have too much then i would suggest you to go and look for medical help. When you go seek medical help, the doctors will usually prescibe you with medication and therapies such as group therapy. One of the important this they will suggest you to exercise. I forgot to mention you about the exercise. People who are struck by this anxiety are usually people who lack in physical activities. Doctors will push to exercise.  Exercise triggers brain chemicals like endorphins and serotonin. Endorphins are a natural pain killers in the body and seotonin acts as anti-depression or anti anxiety. So take on my words. take some time out everyday just for exercise. Belive me you will feel difference within a month or so. This will not go right away but you will feel lot of change. So make a change and exercise.
 
Posted on 02-18-09 5:26 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Many thanx to aisha, bimala, copycat, instinct, dekchidrive ji, and of course still_snake for ur positive, valuable and very important suggestions. Still snake ji, i really like ur tips. I m gonna try to follow all of ur guys' tips and let you know the results (wish it was next very soon) ...Thanx sajha...


 


 


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