Today, I went to this indian restaurent with my friends for lunch. As we all know there are lots of Nepali daju bhai and didi baini working to meet their ends while they are in school. I was with my friends and enjoying my friends all of a sudden i head somebody saying in a loud voice" OYE BAHADUR COME HERE. YE KYA FOOD TO THANDA HAI". I was so shocked him talking that way to my fellow nepali. I just got up and said to Gentelman, "EXCUSE ME SIR WHY DID YOU SAY HIM BAHADUR ? CAN'T YOU SAY EXCUSE ME . HAVE U SEEN HIM KILLING BEAR. TIGER OR HAVE HE DONE SOME GALANTARY THAT U ARE SAYING THAT WAY. HE ANSWERS. WELL WE SAY THAT WAY TO NEPALI PPL IN INDIA. I TOLD HIM BUT ARE U IN INDIA? HE SAYS WE SAY THAT SO I SAID IT. I TOLD HIM THATS NOT A WAY. WE GOT IN HEATED EXCHANGE AND COPS WERE CALLED. WE TALKED AND OFFICER UNDERSTAND WHAT IT WAS ALL ABOUT. HE WAS REALLY UNDERSTANDING HE SAID TO THIS INDIAN GUY, U MAY SAY THAT IN UR COUNTRY BUT RITE NOW U ARE IN USA SO DO AS WE DO. IT MEANS U CANNOT DISRESPECT ANYBODY AND U CANNOTS EXPECT LESS THAN THAT EITHER."
WHEN I TALK THIS ABOUT SOME OF MY FRIENDS THEY ARE SAYING THAT I WENT OVERBOARD. DO YOU GUYS THINK I OVER REACTED?
LET ME KNOW.

Swaati.....bravo......I like the way you handled it.....I don't know what other will say in preceeding thread.......but......I like it.........

Thank you...Thank you...........

I used to work in Indian Restaurant back when I was in college ( I am still in college but that's not the point) trying to make ends meet and this jack ass (sorry guys) would always call me in the late night party and all that ......even wouldn't pay the right money for the work.......I just stopped going......
He opened one restaurant near where I live right now and one day I went there and saw the same jack ass (sorry again guys).......I left a big tip sayig to this guy that I worked for you and you always did hide my tips............he was shocked and he was looking at me with open mouth.............i walked out feeling so good that you won't believe.......

I now work for a good financial institution and I feel good that I don't have to face this.....

anymore thoughts from Sajhali.......

way to go, girl... whoever said you went overboard was more concerned about his/her reputation(a.k.a. ego) than about the ethics involved.

And I quote
"Risk more than others think is safe.
Care more than others think is wise.
Dream more than others think is practical.
Expect more than others think is possible."
Amen

Nope, swaati-- you didn't you go out of your way nor you overreact. You should have punched him right on his nose.

you certainly did not. Very few ppl in this world stand up for their convictions and that's really commendable.

However, yes, the everyday work there doesn't involve you. So, its easy to act on your impulse and think you are doing the absolute right thing. However, the question that tickles me is how are you so sure the person who used the word "bahadur" meant it in a disparaging way? If the nepali working there whom the word was directed wasn't bothered by it, why should you? If you meet an indian you don't know, aren't u tempted to call him "bhaiya" or whatever..or will u resort to calling him sir? Above that, will this incident change his views or will it worsen the workplace for this fellow nepali?

unprovoked thoughts!

YEAH, IF I WAS IN NY I WOULD HAVE DONE THAT, CUZ ITS EASY TO SWING A BAT AND RUN TO ALLEY AND ELOPE.

No you didn't.

Normally if we know the person's name we call the person by it, unless we are overwhelmed by racist emotions. The loud tone saying "OYE BAHADUR" might have been one of hateful indian attitude. They are the same, no matter wherever they are. Very few indians act with an elegant, mannered way.

you were absolutely not out of your way. In fact, you were one of the rarest among we nepalis.

You were right to follow your instinct.
You mentioned cops were involved and because of the volatility of the issue, I hope the fellow Nepali will still have his job at the end of the day (if the guy you confronted was Manager himself).
Well, check on it next time you for lunch and update us.

Good Job Swati! You are true Nepali Chhori! I am with you and encourage Nepali bros/sis to stand up to the respect! In US, everybody deserves respect and that DHOTI mentality (and some of us might have that too!) must STOP!

Nepalese people are too much tolerant! wake up guys, u just have to speak up or worse just kick some asses! that's it!

Om Shanti!

u did the right thing, and we're all glad u did what u did,
it's disrespectful and opinionated when u say shit like that and good on you for what u did. people shouldn't be allowed to say jpt and get away with it.
someone in another post called the miss nepal contestants, a bunch of gooks.
the confused coconut, hasn't been in the country long enough, has already picked up on the
racism. confused because u spit on the plate u eat from, and cocunut, because u're a brown thingy thats white on the insides. hang on u're not really white, just a wannabe white,
so i should call u a rotten confused coconut!!!
u know who u are

Wonderful, Swaati. You deserve a big round of applause for standing up for a fellow Nepali from people like myself. I am not sure if I could have done what you did. Thank you.

Hey.. I have to say that u did a brave thing... well but I am also wondering what Oys said.. what if it becomes worse for the Nepalis there and what if they even get fired.. worse abt the cops.. what if the nepali was illegal and got kicked out... a lot of what ifs.. but if nuthin as such happened.. then well BRAVO!!

swati, you were RIGHT!! BRAVO!! we need ppl like you ...

oys_chill bro, a simple explanation to ur thoughts..

Tell your Best BLACK FRIEND to take you to play basketball with his other black friends, and then in the middle of the game shout at your friend, "NIGGER"! or "BLACK GUY"!, "pass the ball man!", and watch how the crowd will react, i bet you ur fren wont be offended by you tho :)

Swaati, nah gurl u didn't go overboard.
I am however concerned about this Nepali dude, since the cops were involved, do u think they found out that he's working without a permit?????
Nepalis only work (or so I was told) in Indian restaurent when its the last resort, do u think in an indirect way u took away his only job?
Some things to think about!

thx to all of you. Yeah i did went back there, he is not fired. Yeah cops were involved but it was for misdemeanor. None of us were charged. They just ask him to be respectful. BTW the manager(who is himself an indian) was very polite and understanding. He also requested Gentleman not to adress in that manner. I am very pleased with him(manager).
Its so funny the Gentleman who said that he works for Discovery and he is in cultural dept. You know where u do documentary about it. Isn't it shame and how ignorant he is?

To oys chill.
yeah the nepali who work there he was bothered cuz he adress him that way whenever he is their for lunch. He just doesn't say cuz fearing of his job. Well as for ur saying 'Bhaiya" is that some dragotary word. Doesn't a word "BHAIYA" means brother, just like we say daji to some nepali male.

Swaati:
You said "bhaiya" means bhai or dai.True.But Bahadur means "Brave".
Perhaps, I would have reacted in a similar way.But we only heard your side of the story which is only 1/3 of the total story.There were other two people directly involved.May be that Nepali lost his job, may be he wanted to be called Bahadur rather than lose his job.May be that Indian didn't mean to disrespect the Nepali.
DP.

Tricky situation indeed! To rise or not to rise to the occassion.

Either the Nepali bro is taking the "humiliation" because he doesn't care or because he has no other choice. In which scenario, he means to keep a low profile by not making a fuss about it himself. In either case, would he want a customer to make such a ruckus that cops are involved? If he can't afford to risk his job, can he afford to let a stranger risk it for him?!!!

Now that everyone is here, moi add moi pach paisa too ! DP can you pleech check those other parties for their side of saying, cause I feel the same way you do.I will send you the air tickets hai? :p:p
Meeru is so right abt the last resort. :(:(

Tho it is a good idea to stand up for your countrymen." Haste waste" thing ta sabaile sunya hola.

Swati, Bahadur does not have a bad meaning to it. It is actually a positive word. The waiter's name could be bahadur. Bhaiya is not a bad word either. Just like didi. There is no reason to feel bad if someone calls me didi, or I call someone bhaiya. Of course I wouldn't call someone bahadur unless their name is Bahadur.

As the saying goes "Give a starving man a fish, and he's set for the day, teach him how to fish and he's set for the rest of his life" (or something to that effect) ... Instead of confronting the Indian customer, you should have talked to the Nepali waiter so that he could handle the situation himself whenever that happened. You let this customer know, but there are going to be many others who do the same.

In my POV, the waiter should always say "Hi my name is soandso, I'll be your waiter for today". And if the customer still insists on calling him Bahadur, and he doesn't like it, then soandso must correct the customer. I do not see that the customer is the only person to blame here, the waiter is also about 50% to blame, since he never corrected the customer.

I would say you are a "bahadurni" with the real meaning that you did something that was bold. But I would say, before you butt in somebody else's business, talk to the guy first to assess the situation, in this case the waiter.

this is some that I had to say
sweetP

swaati- I'm sure the indian guy did not know that the word "bahadur" is demeaning to all nepalese. This is a common problem a young nepali faces when they come to US and deal with Indians. Indians are used to calling bahadur and kanchas back home and they think its all right to call any nepalese with that name. The poor nepali guy from village in India can't defend due to job security and most of the time they don't even know its an insulting word for nepalese. But when a young guy/girl from ktm come to US and hears those words they go bizzark. What you should have done was politely explain that the word is insulting to all nepalese.

I've heard this story many times and its always due to misconception among indians that its all right to call all nepalese bahadur or kancha. If you ever get into that situation just explain nicely and if he does it again go kick his balls. Most of the time indians will be very surprised to know that the word bahadur is insulting to nepalese.

There is no question that you tried to protect nepai pride.