The Perfect Husband:

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes”
WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s
only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007
models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$80,000.”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
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Molvi apni wife say: jab me mar jaon to samnay walay ghar ki aurton ko zroor bulana.
Biwi: wo kyun
Molvi: unki aurtain murday se lipat lipat ker roti hain!!
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PATIENT: MUJHE BIMARI HAI. NA KHAON TO BHOOK LAGTI HAI. NA SOUON TO NEEND
ATI HAI. OR ZADA KAM KAR KE THAK JATA HON.
DOCTOR:SARI RATT DHOOP ME BETHO THEEK HO JAYO GE
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SARDAR SPECIAL:

Once a sardar doctor calls his sardar patient on the phone and says ‘Hi, main bol raha hoon!’
The other sardarji replies ‘Kamaal hain, ithe vi main bol raha hoon!’
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Doctor to Sardar: ‘Aapka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai!’
Sardar: ‘Hoga, zaroor hoga! 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!’
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Mother of Six:

Santa Singh had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, ‘Mother of Six,’ in spite of her objections.
One night they went to a party. Santa decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouted at the top of his voice, ‘Shall we go home, Mother of Six?’
His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion shouted back, ‘Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four!’
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Banta Died:

The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper.
‘How much does it cost to have an obituary printed’? asked miser Santa Singh.
‘It’s 50 Rupees a word, sir,’ the clerk replied politely.
‘Fine,’ said Santa Singh after a moment. ‘Okay then, write this down: ‘Banta - dead’.’
‘That’s all?’ asked the clerk disbelievingly.
‘That’s it.’
‘I’m sorry sir, I should have told you - there’s a five word minimum.’
‘Yes, you should’ve,’ snapped the Santa. Now let me think a minute… okay, here goes: Banta dead. Maruti for Sale.’

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केही सायरिहरु
**********************
Gunghat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Deewanna Hua,
Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua,
Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua,
Masti Ka mastaana Hua,
Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua
_____________________________________________________________
Pani pitaa hain pipe se
Apple khataan hain knife se
Uski bhi kya life hain yaaron
Jooten khataan hain wife se
_______________________________________________________
Tere pyaar main deewana hua E chhaliye
Tere pyaar main deewana hua E chhaliye
…..
Iodex maliye kaam par chaliye
_______________________________________________________
kabhi kehte the dost hamare ke
“jaan bhi maango to hazir hai”,
Aaj apni bivi ko jaan kehte hai ,
aur maango to inkaar karte hain
______________________________________________________________
Wah re Deewane ,
Tujhe soojhi Hai Door Ki,
Soorat hai LANGOOR ki,
Aur Khwahish hai ANGOOR ki.
___________________________________________________________________
Disclaimar :यहा राखियका कुनै पनि रचना मेरा हैनन । कसैलाई आपत्ति भयमा नहेर्नुभय बेश हुन्छ । कसैलाई यही तन्द्र्यो मा अझै केही यस्तै रचना थप्दै जान मन लाग्यो भने मेरो केही आपत्ति हुने छैन ।

Joke of the century!! Enjoy!

HERE IT GOES......

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's
drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs
some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats
them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his
mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

The guy says, "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in
sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He
orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the
man is drinking, the monkey finds a cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks
it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"

"Now what?" asks the patron.

"Well, he stuck a cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says
the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats
everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures
everything first!"

the monkey joke was funnieeeee lolzz

The monkey joke was really the joke of the century! Thanks for sharing.