Lately I have been suffering from a weird syndrome. After some investigation I have been able to pin point it as the Facebook Desperation syndrome. It is an interesting syndrome at best. It doesn't affect me too much but I know it does. I registered in Facebook relatively late at the prodding of friends who seemed to have been crazy about it. For almost a year I have been curiously interested at the postings made by friends and acquaintances. Some postings just seem like a desperate plea at getting some attention. I was enjoying the drama for a while.

It all changed one fine day when I saw a squirrel running up the tree as I was coming back from work. I took a picture of it and posted in Facebook. Little did I know that it would be a life changing for me. As soon as I posted it, I got taken over by what I now know as the FBD syndrome. I kept refreshing the page to see how many likes I get. As minutes turned into hours and hours turned into days, I still could not even get one single like! I never realized that could be so frustrating. I was leaving all my real world problems behind and reloading the damn page and checking my phone every few minutes to see if anyone liked my picture. Nobody ever did, so I did something that is considered to be an act of desperation. I liked my own post! But still, noone liked my post besides my 45 year old aunt who must have felt pity on me.

Even that make me a little happy yet with a bitter after taste of anxiety. After that incident, I have posted some more pictures with the same bitter FBD experience. People just don't like my postings. I am still wondering to this day what is the secret ingredient that will get your friends to like you in FB. Maybe I am better off cancelling my account.

Chewinggum I gave you one like because I felt sorry for you lol

It's funny; I Dittoed Funtush.

Give likes, take likes.
But I don't care.
My facebook is so dormant, but I'm extremely active in Closed Facebook groups,
my friends and families don't even know if I'm using facebook ever. But those
groups are fantastic for me. :) I enjoy being there than posting on the wall what I do
or not, that's so lame.

Some observations of 'successful' facebookers ever since I joined FB 7-8 years ago.

1. Upload pictures of what you eat.
2. Upload pictures of sportsmen/teams you idolize/root for.
3. Be attractive.
4. Be a cute girl who takes at least 1 selfie everyday. Duck face = perfect icing on the cake.
5. Adopt a cat/pet.
6. Look up a website with some inspirational quotes. No matter what ideologies/philosophies you follow, if you posted some awesome quotes, you'll get a tonne of likes.
7. Add as many people as you can. There's a huge contingent of people who add/accept friends as they're addicted to FB. This, in turn, will allow you to garner more likes no matter what you post. Essentially, your probablity of getting likes will significantly increase if you added people.
8. Get married and have kids ASAP. Follow it up w/ a gazillion pics of 'em in action. Whether they're pooping, peeing, eating, crying, laughing, it really doesn't matter. People love kids no matter what.
9. If you're a girl, just take pictures and upload 'em. Doesn't matter what/how.
10. Go buy a DSLR. Your skills as a photographer are irrelevant. If you have a DSLR, you now have a credibility to walk around as a professional photographer. That's the trend among Nepalese these days, isn't it? Go climb a tree and take a picture of your surroundings. 


Before I forget, after you get a number of likes over a certain number of days, if you're not satisfied w/ the number of likes, bump it up by posting a thank you note. A picture of this girl's selfie appeared on my homepage yesterday. She was thanking over 100 people liking and commenting on her pics 4 weeks ago! Now that it reappeared on her friend's homepage, it was definitely likely to spur those who missed out on liking it to do so! 

P.S. If my mantras didn't work, consider changing sex, maybe? Cute girls get more likes than dudes.

@riddle,
oh you silver tongue you !

@chewing gum,
bro, it's human nature. live with it. I gave one like to your post (as others did).

in my case, i had >50 friends 2 yrs back. i had similar D. Syndrome. y'know what i DID?
Deactivating all the time was not working at all. You somehow tend to reactivate again.
So, I began to delete my friends slowly and steadily. First, TADHA ko friend and NAJIK ko friend. Then, family members. Then, y'know......... slowly.

Now I have 1 friend in my facebook and the expiration date for that friend is coming soon too. It's working fine for me. I enter fb once a week these days coz there's nothing to see :)

Thank you all so much!! This means a lot to me

7 likes so far, chi-gum! That a boy!