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 What would you change about us?
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Posted on 01-11-12 1:18 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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 I'm just wondering out aloud. 

I have a friend who keeps telling me bahun this bahun that be careful of them, yet my best friend is a bahun and i have had two bahuni exes who (at that time) were really fun to hang out with. 

They had great personalities that i loved and enjoyed being with and none of the stereotypical "bahun-ness" associated with them! Whereas at the same time I've met Newars/Tibetans/Ranas/[insert caste here] who are shrewd as shrewd can be. You can actually see the throbbing vein in their temple as they plan their next move. Not that thinking is a bad thing to do. Its a great thing to do. Everyone should think. But the difference is the thought that is filled with negativity towards another person, you can almost feel it. Same way that you can feel someone's warmth and truthfulness.

So I feel that this is a very mis-represented stereotype. By putting everyone of a particular caste into this stereotype, we are actually creating more mistrust between ourselves. 

Is there something that you would like to change about the way we think or act?

I'm curious. 

Posted on 01-11-12 1:55 PM     [Snapshot: 32]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Yeah, I think we should be more loving. 
Posted on 01-11-12 1:56 PM     [Snapshot: 22]     Reply [Subscribe]
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We should be broad-minded. I'm glad Im not a typical thought.
It still irks me out when people are so blindly and arrogantly biased towards other nationality/race/caste.
Just to make you feel who you are , just look at other animals, they'll see us as only one being i.e 'human'.
We're human.
To break the block, get out of your so called religious myths and beliefs and embrace the idea of one creator, one humanity and love.
I'm not saying straight up disposing your religion, just ascend your thought to the next level, from where you can feel just love and compassion, no place for hatred and ill thoughts.

Posted on 01-11-12 2:56 PM     [Snapshot: 71]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Touche guys,

I just want to add that the best thing you can give to a fellow over the internet is your attention :) 

Feels good when someone else "gets it". All that you have written and expressed. 

definitely religion plays a big role in peoples action, and on top of that people follow religion so blindly while it has so many wonderful lessons to teach! :D Its like the entire book is right in front of your eyes and you're still wondering what the answer is.

But that's just my view of religion, bittertruth. I don't know if God exists or not, so not really sure how true the books written of yore are, but I do know that whats written in them will not make you a weaker man. So maybe we could just pick up some ideas from there and continue onto the next book. (Kinda join them all together and form a super massive religion... just kidding!).

So another thing I'd love to change is the apparent hostility between two Nepalis. The ironic part is we are tagged as one of the MOST HOSPITABLE people on the planet. To OUTSIDERS :D. you know what i mean? But towards a fellow Nepali its always a competetive eye, or a jealous eye, or many-a-times a black eye. Why? 

I was walking down the road in Ocean City one summer (walking to work which was around 10 blocks) and I see this other Nepali dude walking in the opposite direction and we both know that we both are nepali...lol. So in a friendly manner, as he was passing by, I tried to acknowledge this dude, my countryman, who was working his balls off to support himself, with a nod of the head and a "Ke Cha bro?".

He looked at me as if I was crazy. Bro ani ankhale hepera chaldira! haha. 

Anyways that was a long, long time ago. More recently I've seen Nepalis in Boston/NYC area more open-minded and aware of their situation here than before. We could sit down, have a beer and have a conversation of just about anything under the sun. People I met barely 10 minutes ago. 

And contrastingly, there are still people who are willing to kill each other just because they were "looking there". 

Any of you got stories to share? Lets hear it!

Posted on 01-11-12 3:11 PM     [Snapshot: 98]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Cacaphonix, I hear you brother. Hoina, hami haru ko katti common interest haru chha ke. Hoina? 

Like that guy that stared at you like you were crazy. Instead, he could have just said, "Hi, eh tapai pani Nepali ho?" 

And you guys would have talked a little bit. And maybe in the course of talking you would have invited him to go have a beer. And then you would have asked him, "Ani tapai ko ghar Nepal ma kahan ho?" And he would have replied. And no doubt you would know someone who lived around the location that he did. Ani tes ma guff daudi-halthyo. 

So In this way, we Nepalese share so many common values between each other. If we just took a little time to list all the common values that we share between all of us, we would get along so much better, I feel. 

Posted on 01-11-12 3:38 PM     [Snapshot: 124]     Reply [Subscribe]
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I guess it goes both ways.

  Hi there, stranger!  


By nature, I’m not your typical garrulous, chatty sort. I prefer my own crowd of people and more importantly, I prefer to choose this crowd.

So it is rather vexing for me when I’m expected to step out of this comfort zone of mine and am looked on with anticipation to play ball.

All this is not to say that I don’t like to meet new people and garner new perspectives. In fact, I dare say I am very adaptable and keen on being exposed to the multitude of opinions out there.

But making small talk is one thing and diving into a person’s life is another. The latter is something you ought to know how to avoid till you get through the former.

After all, there is a conspicuous line between friends and acquaintances. Friendship is something that cannot be forced on; it is not something that happens just by exchanging Facebook addresses.

So not long ago, when a complete stranger walked up to me and decided to strike a conversation on the grounds that both of us were from the same country, appalled was the only expression I had on my face.

Let me establish here that I am based outside Nepal. And obviously being of a same nationality in a different country comes with the presumption that you are, as a rule of thumb, encouraged to be “best of friends” with others who share your nationality.

It does not matter if you are completely different sorts of people, it does not matter if you have more in common with someone from Africa. All that matters is you are a Nepali and hence it qualifies you to be best friends with others of your origin.

On a similar note, there I was sitting with my foreign colleagues when a man walked right to me rather jollily.

“Tapai pani Nepal bata?” he inquired if I was from Nepal with complete disregard to the entire group of people I had surrounding me.

“Ho,” I smiled and was obligated to chitchat.

I imagine just because the other people around me weren’t Nepali, he so much as didn’t even glance in their direction or show any signs of courtesy. So I stepped up and introduced this stranger-cum-friend to my real friends.

Yes, I admit it’s very exciting to meet someone from Nepal outside Nepal. It’s a wonderful feeling to be able to talk in your mother tongue and share jokes about the power cuts. But it is, in no way, a requirement that I share personal information just because we come from the same country.

As our polite conversation progressed to more private terms like what my father did for a living, I felt it was necessary to stop him there and so bade him namaste.

He left saying he would add me on Facebook. It’s a whole new story if I accepted his request.

Sure this man in question was much older than me and by sharing the same nationality I was bound to be friendly to him and to respect him.

But the question is, how does this man whom I’ve known for the past two minutes get to ask me such questions when I might only share that level of closeness to perhaps any other friend that I’ve known for much longer, be they Nepali or otherwise?

Just because someone is a Nepali, does it honestly mean I have to give out every bit of my personal information? I think not.

While it is admirable that Nepalis around the world get along and prefer to stick in their little cliques, this sort of socializing is not everyone’s cup of tea; especially mine. I love having other Nepalis around- but only so long as we have interests in common.

Moreover, if I am in a foreign land, then it remains that I like to get to know other people who are not necessarily Nepali, I like to touch base with the locals and have no problems making friends with them either.

But clearly this is something that most people find odd. When I come home on my vacations, I often get asked how many others Nepalis are where I am. I tell them that there aren’t many.

They seem unable to digest this and “sympathize” with me saying that they understand how boring it must be for me to be around “strangers”.

They take it for granted that I must have no other friends and think that it’s horrible living without other Nepalis around me. It’s not!

Of course, it is always nice to have people from the same country, but not having other Nepalis around does not at all mean that I have to live in hell.

Also, when I connect with someone, it does not matter if they are from Nepal or China or Australia. All that matters is that we have things in common and are friends regardless of our various nationalities.

But for some reason, this escapes most Nepali heads.

On numerous occasions, I have met numerous Nepalis in this foreign land and I do enjoy a fair share of establishing contact. But to pour my heart out to them and get talking about personal details is something I truly abominate.

I prefer not to give out such information and I very much prefer not to receive such information as well.

In any kind of affiliation where the only thing that is in common is our nationalities, I would much rather keep the bulk of our conversation to highly impersonal things and stick to the “stranger code.”

Ayushma Basnyat is a student of Political Science at Thammsat University who enjoys exploring life and all that it has to offer.

Posted on 01-11-12 3:48 PM     [Snapshot: 128]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Once this guy went to a gas station in Texas looking for job. To his astonishment (hehe) he saw a Nepali dude working the cash register. So full of enthusiam and hope he asked the guy "Tapai Nepali ho?" The register guy replied " Hoina."


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