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 Dilemma

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Posted on 09-09-11 8:21 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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 हैन हो। पचिस बसन्त पार गरियो। आमा ले देखाएको पन्द्र जना भन्दा धेरै केटी हेरी सके, एौता पनि मन परेन। आफ्नो नजिकै बस्ने समुदायमा हुने जस्तो एौता पनि केटी छैनन। के गर्ने होला? यहाँ का दाजु-दिदिहरुले के गर्नु भएर जोडी खोज्नु भएको थियो? सल्लाह-सुझाब भये एस्सो दिनु भये आभारी हुन्थिए! 
 
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Posted on 10-02-11 11:18 AM     [Snapshot: 805]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 "पच्चीस बसन्त पार गरिसक्दा नि  एउटा PERMANENT GF  बनाउन नसक्ने कस्तो नामर्द यार तिमी त!! "

Now Jangali manab is hurting me.  Pacchis basanta agadi kati jana GF banayen bhanne kura sodheko bhaye hunthiyo ni. 

 
Posted on 10-02-11 11:47 AM     [Snapshot: 832]     Reply [Subscribe]
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lol footyfan!! anii tetro gf banako bela !! euta permanent gf banaunupardaina ta ?

 
Posted on 10-02-11 12:00 PM     [Snapshot: 832]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 1 Honest suggestion. 

If you're a guy/girl when you're around 22-23, only date someone that you see good future with. Quite a number of my female friends have turned into "budhi kanyas" because they messed it up by making poor decisions. Its all upto an individual but back in college, this girl (a really good friend of mine) was always obsessed with a guy's looks over his background (family, decency, IQ level, other habits) and was dating this guy (live-in relationship) for almost 2-3 years. They had great fun together and were like the perfect match (looks wise). The guy was dashing, the girl was a hottie. 

Things didn't go well because the guy was also a jackass. The girl was smart, too but not so smart. She's already made a career in the City that she lives in and is pretty popular in the same city. Also, during their relationship, they were notoriously having physical encouters like in cars, restrooms of the clubs etc and now that they've broken up, no guy wants her. The guy, he's still living it up. He's still good looking and he continuously finds chicks who're wooed by his looks. When it comes to settling down, he'll find a chick without any fuss as he's already spent 3-5 years in the US (idiots in Nepal think that as some sort of achievement, too) despite him being a complete jackass who's yet to complete his AA. 

I know all this because I'm really good friends with her. She was a babe with a wild side, pretty smart, great looking but somewhat foolish. 

I guess youngins could take lessons too. Look for quality, not appearance only. If you're a girl in mid 20s with a 'dark' history, what you're gonna have to endure won't be so pleasant thanks to the way Nepalese perceive about women.  

Footyfan, I live in Fremont myself. Hit me up, lets grab a beer sometime. Send me ur number. 
Last edited: 02-Oct-11 12:02 PM

 
Posted on 10-02-11 12:45 PM     [Snapshot: 857]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 That's why I used the word 'PERMANENT'. Tetro GF banauda ek janalai ni Jodi banauna sakenau ta??? 

Hoina timra atitka GF kasta thiye yaar,  Kasta GF rojeu timile??.....Sanka garne thau po bhayo ta!!! 

आँखा त तिम्रो फुटेकै जस्तो छ !!!

 
Posted on 10-02-11 2:51 PM     [Snapshot: 916]     Reply [Subscribe]
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hahah!!!bichara kharabi ta hamro kto maii cha jasto cha!!!!lol!!1

 
Posted on 10-02-11 3:03 PM     [Snapshot: 917]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 25 is too young to get married.  30 kaateko bhaye, lu hataar garoom saathi ek-dui barsha bhitra ma, bhannu hunthyo.  You still have time to play the field and/or to find your soul-mate.

Plus, gone are the days when eligible bachelor can choose his mate like dasai-ma boka-bakhra chaaney ko jasto.  

 
Posted on 10-02-11 8:10 PM     [Snapshot: 1016]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 10-02-11 10:36 PM     [Snapshot: 1089]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Alece, priorities were different back then. 

Jangali, kati rag hanira ho? 

Quagmire, I think you nailed it. Us,men definitely have a massive upperhand. A "bigreko" Nepali guy finding a decent girl isn't that difficult but a "bigreko" Nepali girl finding a decent guy unless she's duping him is a tough ask. That's why I advise my own female friends to be extremely cautious. I've got a buddy in Sunnyvale area. So if I were to visit him sometime, I'll give you a buzz. 

Nepali_American, I think my nobel intentions  are somewhat misunderstood. I'm not in any rush but you know, considering how one of my cousins (a DV winner) didn't get married until he became a US citizen is a decent lesson to me. Also, I've got a friend who's in a relationship with a married woman whose husband lives in the US. Long-distance is okay but intercontinental relationship is a big no no. I mean, visiting your gf/wife once every 12-36 months is really torturous. Further, if I were to get married at this very moment, my newly wed girl will not be with me until 2015 or so (based on current visa processing timeline for GC holders). Ani aba ahile herera 2-3 years ma bihe garne ra 2-3 barsa pachi kura garnu ma ali farak cha ni.  Also, like Quagmire said, it does appear that a majority of good ones are already taken. I wish more married people came forward and shared their stories as in whether they got married while studying over here together, or they got married but got to live together only after either of the spouses' visa petition got approved after a few years. 

And Violet, are you mocking me too now? 

 
Posted on 10-02-11 11:21 PM     [Snapshot: 1147]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Touche, Nas, Touche. 
 
Posted on 10-03-11 12:11 PM     [Snapshot: 1270]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Footy,

How about narrowing your priorities? And getting acquainted to who you think might suit best.

I was never a 'player' but I did see a few women before I got married.

1. A pretty outgoing bombshell back in 1992 in Nepal, I was a teen then, still in junior high. She listened Lez Zepplin and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Thought I'd marry her, cos she looked like  one of those cheerleaders in 'Bring it on'. I didn't care she smoked, but mom did, and that  decimated my short love story before it even happened. Momma knows best, call me her boy. Hell I was only 15.

2. A 'fair' and extremely charming military-kid computer science major from Ambala, India in my engineering school. She liked me more than I liked her, but feared being kissed, worshipped saibaba much to my aggravation and thought drinking was bad. She told her sister about me and researched about Nepal. Should have retained that relationship and married her. Big Mistake, she is a manger in Sun Microsystem in California.

3. A hill-billy in Illinois, a very pretty psychology major who played lacrose, worked as a bartender and sucked in Maths. She liked me for a fact that I was smart guy who knew it all (all meant maths and physics). She was taller than me (and I am 5'10"). I liked her cos none of my friends back then had as 'thin' of a girlfriend. She moved to Kentucky with her sister after a year and that was it.

4. A grad student from New Hampshire, fell for her chatting in nepalnews chat. Met her twice, even drove to Miami together, but was so obsessive, called me 15 times a day and was irate when I didn't answer. She needed a lot of attention, seriously, A LOT. Wanted me to fly to Manchester every weekend from Chicago, would've become a pauper doing that. We had one loud argument on phone, that ended up name calling in voicemails. Perhaps would be reading this as I post it. So yes, if it is YOU, you know it is ME. LOL.

5. Aunt sent me a picture of this girl some years ago, she was pretty, my family knew hers and hers - mine. Mom loved her, but I feared I was getting into what I always resented the most - an arranged marriage. As much as I resented the coercion and pretended I wasn't going to fall for her, I did eventually. She complemented me like no woman ever did. Went to shrines with grandma, belted tequila and got wasted, tried cigar and coughed. visited Joplin to volunteer for red-cross, listened from Runa Laila to Joni Mitchell. I married her after a year of courtship and I'm happy.

Here is my take, no matter what you do, you will always end up doing what is best for not only you, but the people associated with you as well. And hate me for saying this, but when it comes to longevity of a relationship, mama's sister knows best.

 
Posted on 10-03-11 12:58 PM     [Snapshot: 1332]     Reply [Subscribe]
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behoove_me
bro le second ko kti chahi miss garekaii ho!! hahahah
 
Posted on 10-03-11 2:57 PM     [Snapshot: 1377]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 had fun reading the post, bring it on guys. 

I married the only girl I loved, Been married for some years and love every moment. 

Tara worst part is I don't have stories to be told. 

@alece - behoove_me le nahcodeko bhaye tyo kt sun ma kaam gardaina thyo hola ( j/k)

Footyfan :- nothing is written in stone, ani yo bihe ko kura you never know bud, so don't try too had, It will happen 

aba kun bela kun kt maan parcha koslai k thaha. 



 
Posted on 10-03-11 3:11 PM     [Snapshot: 1384]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Footyfan, I am not mocking. I am just stating the truth.

And this is what happens to woman who wait for their perfect man.

5 Women waiting for the Perfect Man

Fact of life: It is easy to get married but hard to stay married.
And I rarely see genuinely happy married couples. I think it just goes downhill from a certain point.
Dude, just give it some time. You will find somebody. For now, enjoy single life to the max.

 
Posted on 10-03-11 3:20 PM     [Snapshot: 1411]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Violet; 
here is a link for you. http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0002468.cfm 

Love is something that you have to work on all the time,  it does not exist by itself.  Biruwa ma pani hali rakhna paryo ni sister. 

peace, 


 
Posted on 10-03-11 3:24 PM     [Snapshot: 1429]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Bodmas, hope you have all it takes to keep working on your love all the time.

 
Posted on 10-03-11 3:28 PM     [Snapshot: 1435]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 I am sorry if I sounded that way. 

I hope love will last, tara just wanted to say there is little work to do.  

I know what you are saying. 



 
Posted on 10-03-11 6:54 PM     [Snapshot: 1487]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Thanks for a couple married budhas coming out of their shelves to shade some lights to this confused soul. Not that I couldn't contact my cousins and elderlies, but I don't think I'd feel that comfortable asking about their marriages because it's gonna send a wrong message and they might think I'm thinking about my marriage in the near future.  I already spoke to a fellow who just naturalized to become a US Citizen and recently brought his wife about marriage process and he was pulling my leg, too. 

Anyway, behoove dai, you never cease to amaze me with your writing. You should definitely take some classes and write for Nepali Newspapers or hell, even create a blog. Your writing ability overly exceeds the writings of any Engineer. 

Like Bodmas said, had you married the chick, she probably wouldn't be a manager in Sun Microsys today. But by the sounds of it, your significant other is a great match for you.

In any case, I was perhaps a tad silly by not looking for a Nepali girl while in College... (the fact that there weren't any is a different matter) and I'm definitely enjoying my life to the max. I just wanted to see how some of the older generations found their significant others. The last thing I'd want is getting tied by arranged marriage. My parents are super cool about it but even then, there are criterias and requirements that a chick needs to fulfil/match and that's probably the biggest hurdle. 

Violet, I was just messing with you and wasn't serious at all. I'm certainly enjoying my single life to the max. 

Like Bodmas said, I certainly believe that love isn't something that's gonna fade away. Therefore, its imperative that before you tie the knots, you clarify things, express your opinions and found a suitable match. After you've tied the knot, a new walk will have just started, not ended but then again, I'm not married yet, how would I know? 

 
Posted on 10-05-11 2:58 PM     [Snapshot: 1637]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 "It is easy to get married but hard to stay married.And I rarely see genuinely happy married couples. I think it just goes downhill from a certain point."

Err...what is that suppose to mean, Violet? Are you implying that people shouldn't get married then? Of course happiness doesn't stay intact forever but neither does your age, fitness and health levels. What's next? You shouldn't exercise because you're gonna get old at some point? I apologize for coming across as a cynic but your post doesn't make a whole lot of sense. 

Marriage is a work. It bonds two people together and binds them as a unit. I've known of people who've been married for over 30 years and they say they've enjoyed every moment of it. Things are likely to deteriorate like sexual satisfaction (statistically, sexual interest drops down among 90% married couples after the first child is born) but even then, marriage can be a life-long affair. 

You just need to get married by finding a suitable partner. 

 
Posted on 10-05-11 10:08 PM     [Snapshot: 1717]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Quagmire, did you go to Galaxy? You remind me of someone I know. He lives in Mountain View..... 
 
Posted on 10-21-11 9:23 PM     [Snapshot: 1910]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 I went to St. Xavier's, not Galaxy and I live near Fremont. 
 



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